Distant with mom – how should I handle this?
I’m 30. My mom has had brittle diabetes since I was one. She did not do the things she should have to help herself (exercise, eat right …). Since I was around 5 I did all the laundry, made dinner (mac and cheese) for the family, and cleaned the house. My childhood was taken with this. Still, she did not help herself. She is very religious and always lectured me. She did not do things with me, did not even attend my bridal shower. Since I was a child, she was always “too sick” to do anything. Now she is 100 pounds overweight, blind, and has literally been sitting in front of the tv for 3 decades. She does not lift a finger. I have no respect for her. My father now has to do everything and it is so much for him. I still harbor anger toward her. How should I handle my relationship with her?
* I’ve been reading the answers as they have been submitted and want to thank you all so much for your heart-felt and wise responses. *
You had a difficult life with a difficult mother, but think of everything you learned by having to be the one taking care of it all. You are a strong and capable woman who might not be that way if your mother had not been as she is. You have every right to be angry and resentful, but that just hurts you. Try to forgive your mother, I don’t think she’ll be around much longer. Simply use all the bad from your childhood to be the exact opposite of your mother. Take good care of your health and your family. Help your father out when possible, because you know how hard it is to take care of your mother. The two of you can commiserate and support one another.
diabetes and cardiovascular risk
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